Category Archives: blog

Aftercare Programme

After attending one of the intensive programmes or having done sufficient recovery work, clients will be eligible to attend the aftercare programme.

We combine psycho-education, and group process to encourage positive change. This programme is also deeply experiential.

The programme is designed to deepen your recovery experience in an intimate group setting. This will provide you with strategies and tools to solidify the tasks completed in previous programmes. Participants will be able to independently and effectively manage their recovery, with a support system available.

Aftercare acts as a continuing support system to on-going recovery. The emphasis of the programme is centred on trauma and shame reduction, and transitioning from an addictive system to healthy intimacy and sexuality.

Participants who attend 12 step meetings, on average, do much better than those who do not.

The Structure

Our programme runs once a week – Wednesdays nights from 7pm – 8:30pm.

Each week includes: Educational lectures, group work, and task work. Due to the size limitations of our programme, book your place early.

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Psychotherapy & Recovery Programme

“While the recovery process is literally a three to five year journey,
the very foundations are laid early.” – Dr. Patrick Carnes

After completing an intensive program, and aftercare, The Hudson Centre offers a on-going Psychotherapy and Recovery group.

The process allows participants:

  • To be responsible for one’s actions with themselves and in relationships
  • Enhance awareness which leads to insight, mindfulness and accountability
  • Achieve a deeper understanding and appreciation of their own spiritual and recovery journey
  • Learn to moderate commitment between family, social and professional life
  • Maintaining change and transitioning from addictive to healthy intimacy
  • The group instils an autonomous ethic whereby participants are responsible for providing their own content for the group process.
  • The Psychotherapy and Recovery Program is tailored to each members recovery and provides the right level of support.

    The program is designed for clients wishing to work on specific areas of their lives in a group setting.

    The Structure

    Our program currently runs once a week – Tuesday night from 7pm – 8:30pm. The group is open-ended and runs for 10 months a year. Each week includes: Psychotherapy process, group work, recovery work and homework. Due to the size limitations of our program book your place early.

    Please contact us on 0207 493 4488 to book a confidential assessment.

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Couples Programme

Sex addiction is a progressive disease that consumes lives, destroys relationships and robs addicts and their partners of self-respect. Spouses and partners of sex addicts are often traumatized by the discovery of betrayal.

This programme is designed for any couple recovering from sexual addiction. The essence of the couples treatment utilises psycho educational techniques:

  • The origins of Sexual Addiction
  • Betrayal trauma, and the barriers to intimacy
  • Healthy sexuality and communication
  • Understanding principles of recovery and healthy boundaries
  • Reclaiming your own power and the ability to make more balanced decisions
  • This programme can be an important step in achieving healthy intimacy in relationship with another.

The couples treatment utilises the latest research and techniques of the leading Sexual Addiction specialists.

Testimonials:

Following are what couples, who have experienced the Couples Intensive programme have to say about the success and impact the weekend had on them. We are committed to protecting the privacy of our clients and therefore the testimonials are intentionally anonymous.

“The couples programme allowed us to jump start our recovery and open communication in our relationship. A very well presented course”

“We felt the whole weekend was beneficial and we were happy with all aspects. Excellent job by the team leaders, thank you”

“The couples’ workshop helped us develop more intimacy in our marriage and develop a healthy sex life”

“The weekend gave us the ability to articulate true feelings in a safe area. It was the first time I have been able to open up and talk without fear of judgement or anger”

“It was an emotional and heartfelt weekend. Excellent job by the team leaders, we appreciated the guidance and understanding. Thank you”

The Couples Intensive Weekend Structure:

The weekend is non-residential and runs for 2.5 days.

Friday 12.30pm – 5 pm

Saturday 10 am – 5 pm

Sunday 10 am – 5 pm

Enrollment is limited to five couples.
Lunch and refreshments are included.

Workshops are held at:

13 John Prince’s Street.Cavendish Square, London, W1G 0JR

Facilitators:

Robert Hudson, UKCP, CSAT-S Psychotherapist; Addiction Treatment and Trauma Specialist.

Karen Lloyd, Certified Sex Addiction and Relationship Therapist.

Upcoming Workshops:

Friday 15th January 2016 – Sunday 17th January 2016
Friday 11th March 2016 – Sunday 13th March 2016
Friday 13th May 2016 – Sunday 15th May 2016
Friday 8th July 2016 – Sunday 10th July 2016

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6 Key Steps For A Successful Recovery Process

While anyone can become compulsively obsessed with watching online pornography, to visiting prostitutes regularly or constantly cheating on their partner, if left unchecked this behaviour can become problematic and addictive, resulting in negative and destructive outcomes in one’s life.

In order to control and stop any addictive behaviour, a change in habits, actions and behaviours that contribute to the addiction as well as a recovery process is essential.

The Hudson Centre’s 6 key steps in the recovery process are:

  1. Admit that the behaviour is out of control and is seriously damaging your life and your family’s life
    Admit to yourself that the problem is not in your control.
  2. Developing honesty with self and in time with others will help to build accountability.
  3. Attendance at a 12 step fellowship that focuses on the behaviour you wish to stop.
  4. Start to build a secure network of individuals who will help you deal with the thoughts, feelings and emotions that present in recovery.

Commit to therapy with a qualified professional who can guide you through some of the underlying dynamics at work that have contributed to the behaviour.
The Hudson Centre specialises in the treatment of sexual addiction and has a broad knowledge and experience base to draw upon when treating clients. We integrate the latest theory and approaches for treating problems related to sexual compulsivity or dysfunction. The Hudson Centre offers 8 Breakthrough Programmes, allowing clients to choose their path to recovery.

Being integral, compassionate, honest, young and vibrant, The Hudson Centre brings a new and fresh perspective and approach to recovery.

The Hudson Centre – Rebuilding pathways to a healthy life

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Review of Nymphomaniac – The Movie

Lars Von Trier’s film, Nymphomaniac, explores the themes and behaviours involved with Sex Addiction or “nymphomania”, through the depiction of the many scenarios and instances that are present for a female sex addict. The central character, Joe, was able to discover the hidden depths of her sexuality to the physical extent of her being and the resulting consequences. The “no taboos” subjects were expressed through:

  • Domination and submission
  • Pain exchange sex
  • Infidelity
  • Multiple sex partners
  • Exploration of Paedophilia related phantasy
  • Seductive Role Sex
  • Masturbation and Phantasy

Additionally the issues dealing with arousal and pushing the envelope to experience the extreme forms of addicted sexual behaviour were present throughout the film. Despite the protestation of Joe and the literal, historical references to mythological characters depicting the syndrome of nymphomania, the film was able to show how sexual addiction can reduce anyone to a shutdown and emotionless existence ; one where only sex and the need for gratification matters, no matter the cost.

Furthermore, despite the consequences of her actions Joe continued pushing her own limits which mimics the insanity of the sexual addicts behaviour of continuing to do the same behaviour in spite of the same consequences, even while knowing the outcome to be the same or worse. Also, putting herself in vulnerable situation to be exploited or for boundaries to be violated is a theme that exists with female sex addicts. The film is beneficial in demonstrating how extreme the forms of behaviour can be in any form of process addiction and the result leads the individual into a deeply lonely, isolated existence.

The nostalgia trip that Joe takes the viewer on is merely a continuation of her sexual development from Vol. 1. From a sexual addiction perspective the film is a display of how wired the brain can be; in spite of any intervention or perceived help, the situation can be manipulated or set up for a coercion to take place. This was typified in the relationship between the storyteller Joe and the Listener Seligman.

We would like to suggest that one way to watch the film is to go with a friend, debrief after, and allow some process time if any of the themes resonate with you. If you find that you are struggling with any issues that may have surfaced since watching the film and would like to chat with someone, do give us a call.

The Hudson Centre – Rebuilding pathways to a healthy life

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A Hudson Centre perspective on Dr Carla Clark’s article “The truth about porn shrinking the brain”

The recent article by Dr. Clark “The truth about porn shrinking the brain” is a well-crafted account of the effects that porn can have on the brain. Examining the frequency and type in some studies guided the results of the research to indicate that certain areas are connected with porn use and overuse. As a treatment provider, we educate and support individuals with Porn addiction and help to reduce and alleviate the negative effects that an addiction has for an individual.

In our intensive and structured groups, we work with the latest research material and provide educational lectures that inform the individual of the effects that porn has on the brain. Our programs are structured specifically to examine the hidden dynamics as to what type and frequency of porn is being watched and how to promote abstinence and healthy behaviours that free the individual from the destructive effects that porn can have on the brain and the person as a whole.

Many of our clients have remarked that the intensive program and individual therapy was key for them in establishing new behaviours that promote their health and wellbeing. As a result, it gave them a sense of freedom from their porn addiction.

The article itself makes use of the research into the neurotransmitters released and neural pathways in the brain that are primarily involved in the development of a porn addiction. The Hudson Centre promotes the use of educational material from talks, articles and social media information that communicates the impact that porn has on the brain. We offer a three question exploration for anyone who feels that they may struggle with issues related to their porn use and would like to move towards healthier ways of living.

3 key questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is it that arouses me in the porn that I am watching? Is it the behaviour displayed i.e. violent, dominating, Submissive, staged rape, Sexual strangulation, Pre-teen, Same Sex?
  2. When did Porn use begin and has it escalated since I started? Moving from Soft core magazines to video, progressing to hard core internet pornography?
  3. How did my issue come to be internet/magazine pornographic material as opposed to other activities?

If you are struggling to answer any of these questions or would like support in helping to stop problematic porn addiction, please call The Hudson Centre today on 0207 493 4488 and speak to a trained professional.

The Hudson Centre – Rebuilding pathways to a healthy life

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12 Tips To Get Through The Holidays

The holiday season is a challenging time for most people and particularly for those who are in recovery. With this in mind, The Hudson Centre has prepared 12 handy tips to help you manage the holiday stresses.

Tip 12 – The Purpose of the 12 tips is to help keep you, as an individual, safe during the festive season.

Tip 11 – Maintain contact with Support Network – Throughout the holiday time this can be challenging especially when surrounded by family and friends. It’s easy to slip into the belief that you do not need to reach out or plug into recovery, yet it is essential to keep in touch with your support system, your therapist or a close family friend.

Tip 10 – Pause to reflect upon the Year – The end of the year is an ideal time to look back and evaluate the progress made, the challenges overcome and the obstacles you faced throughout the year. Don’t forget to acknowledge all the successes no matter how small.

Tip 9 – Make time for Me time – Within the busyness and hassles of the festive period it is important to find time for yourself in order to maintain your self-care, so take time to sit, relax and recharge.

Tip 8 – Healthcare Screening – Book an appointment to see your doctor or main healthcare professional, and get a complete physical as it will add to your peace of mind as you move into the new year.

Tip 7 – Unplugged Day – With the current nature of being plugged in and switched on all day, everyday, taking the opportunity to switch off all electronic devices and giving yourself permission to be unplugged is an important step for downtime and rest.

Tip 6 – Watch your favourite Movie – Get the popcorn out and watch movies. Mix it up, old favourites, a feel good movie or take a look at the 7 essential movies we recommend to watch over the festive period (Add link). The Hudson Centre warning: these movies are focused around sexual addiction and recovery.

Tip 5 – Improve your physical health – Go to the Gym – As the holidays can be indulgent and tend to centre around food cakes and sitting around, take some time to visit the gym as it is important to maintain the ideals you set out during the year or perhaps start a new initiative.

Tip 4 – Go for a walk in the Great Out Doors – Take the opportunity to explore your surroundings and re-connect with nature. Get yourself outside and walk for no specific period of time.

Tip 3 – Get creative – Spend some time working on creative pursuits, drawing, writing, baking, and painting – do anything that boosts your sense of self.

Tip 2 – Make an appointment to see your therapist –time with your family and friends may stir up negative feelings and meeting with your therapist to re-connect to yourself and your process can be beneficial.

Tip 1 – Preparation for the next 100 days – As you prepare for the next phase of your development, outlining and deciding upon the things you wish to achieve in the next year, write down 100 things that will provide traction in life and recovery.

How to use guide: Print a copy of these tips and keep it with you.

You will encounter stress during the holidays, however be mindful of the 12 tips to help you manage the stress. Please feel free to share with your network.

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Sex Addiction & Hollywood

The evolution within the movie industry has allowed themes of sexual addiction, compulsive cheating, pornography and non-intimate sex to be explored within many mainstream films. From “Gaslight” back in the 1940’s to current titles like “Thanks for Sharing” in 2012, these films depict the nature and the different types of sexual addiction. Following is a list of movies, we have put together that clarifies, informs and more importantly may help audiences emotionally connect with the subject matter. Further, we have found that these movies may also prove helpful to anyone who is in the process of recovery from addictive sexual behaviour or if they are unsure, or if they have questions on sexual addiction.

Thanks for Sharing – A landmark film in the sex addiction genre, it explores the ways that addicts recover through the dynamics of 12 step fellowships and support groups. A useful film for individuals unsure of the journey ahead and wanting to find out what sexual addiction recovery is all about from a 12 step perspective. We recommend watching this movie as it may help individuals to understand and appreciate what recovery is and what it is not and what to expect along the path.

Don Jon – An expose on the underlying dynamics of relationships in the face of active porn addiction. The central character exhibits the far reaching consequences porn addiction can have on a person’s life and the function that the behaviour plays in their life. As the film progresses the ideas of true intimacy and love are explored against the backdrop of porn addiction. A film we recommend to individuals who may be struggling with excessive porn use and or porn addiction. This movie also helps to discuss the obsessive and compulsive behaviours that contribute to the addiction.

Shame – From a Hudson Centre perspective this movie explicitly demonstrates how evocative the behaviour of sexual addiction can be. Through showing the viewer a progression in behaviour from paying for sex to seeking to be sexual in a multitude of environments this movie centres around the perpetual and progressive shame and addict feels. Shame is a useful film for understanding and appreciating the depth of feeling that happens with sexual addiction.

Choke – This movie examines the path of continuing destruction that a sexual addict faces despite attempts to improve their behaviour and relationships. The central character wrestles with the question “in the process of recovery or not?”. The theme of attracting attention through choking and wanting to manipulate a situation is a reflection of a family dynamic playing out for the central character. From a Hudson Centre perspective the purpose of watching the film is to see the extent of the behaviour and what continuing despite and in spite of the consequences actually does to the addict.

Nymphomaniac Part 1 & 2 – A movie that explicitly demonstrates the dynamics and development of Nymphomania or sexual addiction throughout the life of the female central character. Many issues of sexual addiction and paraphilia are explored and demonstrated during the course of the two films. A Hudson Centre advises caution when watching this movie for the explicit instruction that potentially triggering or arousing images are part of the content and discretion and support are recommended during viewing. http://www.sexualaddict.co.uk/blog/56-review-of-nymphomaniac-the-movie

Cruising – A film that looks at the hidden dynamics of gay culture in the 1970’s amidst a backdrop of deception, murder and mystery. The movie focuses on the nuisances of communication and homosexual preferences and the issues faced when expressing sexuality in this context. From a Hudson Centre perspective this movie focuses on the secretive nature of sexuality and is a useful film for anyone struggling with the ideas of sexuality or sexual preference.

Her – The latest film that demonstrates the virtual world of love, intimacy, lust and connection. The movie offers the viewer the chance to experience the one dimensional bubble of absorption into technology that morphs into an obsession that controls the central character. It continues by showing how the addiction took hold of his reality destroying his life.

We are recommending these movies as a springboard for you to understand the intricacies of sexual addiction. We recommend that addicts, partners and family members participate (age appropriate) in viewing for more clarification and awareness of the addiction. If you and or your partner feel that some of the content of the above movies relates to you or your situation, please do call us to speak to one of our qualified sexual addiction therapists.

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Pathways

Reprinted from BBC News Beat with Robert Hudson
Hear the broadcast http://bbc.in/1M7s76y

Porn addiction: ‘I couldn’t focus on everyday activities’
Daniel Simmons is a 23-year-old recovering porn addict.

He says he couldn’t have sex or concentrate on everyday things and yet, he says, he couldn’t stop.

“I was 15 when I started watching porn after my parents bought me a laptop. I did what pretty much any teenage boy does and look up porn websites,” he tells Newsbeat.

“It became an everyday thing very quickly. I was watching porn for two hours a day.”

He then moved onto watching pornographic content that disturbed him.

WARNING: This article contains graphic content of an adult nature

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“I found a website dedicated to porn addiction and I felt like I had an epiphany. I felt like I wasn’t alone any more.

“I did 100 days of porn abstinence and masturbation abstinence.

“It’s exactly like going cold turkey. The first two weeks were pretty awful with lots of mood swings.

“It was rough, it was really rough. There were sleepless nights. There were nights where I’d wake up in cold sweats.

“There would be days where I’d just start shaking for no reason.

“My whole body was just shaking and I didn’t know why.

“I’d have really bad social anxiety and then other days I’d feel on top of the world and be able to do anything.

“There’s been a few relapses of course but not particularly bad ones. I’ve not binged or anything.

“I’ve been able to get back to my routines and I’ve been OK but it has affected my erections.

“When I’m with a woman I’ve noticed it’s softer down there and I’m not as excited.

“I started meditating regularly every day and I’ve not watched porn now for about a year and a half.”

I had decreased concentration. I simply couldn’t focus on normal, everyday activities. I had no idea I had a problem with porn. I was completely in denial but I was addicted for six years.

“I’d say I had a porn addiction but perhaps masturbation addiction was a part of it.

“I couldn’t get erections any more with real women when I tried because I’d watched so much porn.

“It wasn’t exciting anymore to be with a real woman.

“It felt terrible. I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I just thought I was this complete weirdo.

“I wasn’t able to feel anything for anyone sexually. I had no libido. My libido felt like a fake libido.

“I’d have a libido for porn but not for real human beings.

“You watch things you really wouldn’t ever watch. Everything is available at your fingertips.

“I was watching things that disturbed me that weren’t in keeping with what I knew my sexuality was, things like transsexual porn and gay porn.

“I had decreased concentration. I simply couldn’t focus on normal, everyday activities.

“I had no idea I had a problem with porn. I was completely in denial but I was addicted for six years.”

Daniel says he has not watched porn now for a year and a half.

“A lot of things changed when I started recovering,” he says.

“I started realising what was important.

“I know that there are a lot of guys and girls out there who are suffering from this.

“There are certainly many out there who are hiding and have a problem and talking about it something I want to do because I feel it’s necessary.”

What the expert says

Robert Hudson is a sex addiction therapist. He says Daniel clearly shows signs of having sex-related addictions.

“Using porn isn’t a real problem. It’s a bit like drinking. Most people can have a drink safely.

“When it starts having severe consequences is when [porn] starts taking over your life.

“It’s a problem when you start cancelling family events or meetings with friends because you want to go home and look at pornography.”

Robert says there are steps to help people who self-identify as porn addicts.

“The first thing we ask them to do is stop masturbating for 90 days. They allow their system to slow down and stop looking at porn.

“You’re not cured then but what it helps you to do is notify you’re not using the porn because you’re aroused or excited.

“You probably use porn because you’re bored, stressed or lonely.”

If you’d like any more information on addictions visit BBC Advice.

Follow @BBCNewsbeat on Twitter, BBCNewsbeat on Instagram, Radio1Newsbeat on YouTube and you can now followBBC_Newsbeat on Snapchat.

Filed Under: Sexual Addiction

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Change is Possible

“Knowing you are a sex addict doesn’t mean you are bad or perverted or hopeless. It means you may have a disease, an obsession from which many have healed.” Dr. Patrick Carnes

At The Hudson Centre we specialise in treating sexual addiction with a particular emphasis on rebuilding healthy relationships with oneself and others. Rest assure that our therapists will not judge you and are there to help you better understand your behaviours so that healthier change is possible.

If you or someone you love has a sexual addiction, the first step to seeking help can be challenging. Part of the problem relates to the defence mechanism known as denial, coupled with shame connected to personal sexual behaviours. However, reaching out to an experienced and professionally trained sex addiction therapist can be an important step in creating happy and healthy change. Remember, what you share in therapy is completely confidential.

One of the fundamental problems with diagnosing and treating sexual addiction is that there is no visible scarring like other addictions (drugs, alcohol, food, gambling), as a result it can go underground for many years and forces the sexual addict to live a double life.

Three questions that may help you decide if you should talk to a trained psychotherapist …

  • Is your sexual behaviour compulsive, uncontrollable, obsessive?
  • Is your sexual behaviour causing you serious problems?  (e.g. losing jobs or relationships, sexually transmitted diseases, or sexual offenses)
  • Are you excessively obsessed with sex? (i.e. you think about sex ALL the time)

Behaviours Common in Sexual Addiction

  • Multiple anonymous sex partners
  • Compulsive cyber-sex
  • Frequent use of sex workers
  • Compulsive use and reliance upon adult video
  • Simultaneous affairs outside of primary relationship
  • Co-addiction to a substance (i.e. alcohol, crystal meth, cocaine).

The key word to keep in mind regarding all of these behaviours is compulsive. In short, people who have a sexual addiction compulsively engage in activities that place themselves and/or loved ones at risk personally, physically and financially.

Treating Sexual Addiction

Before recovery can take place the person has to want to change. They must recognize that the negative consequences associated with their behaviours outweigh any perceived benefits. After this realization, the treatment generally involves a number of approaches, including individual sexual addiction treatment, couples counsellingand group therapy.

Robert Hudson, Clinical Director and Sexual Addiction Specialist at The Hudson Centre says “I strongly believe that the group environment provides a space for individuals to intimately discuss and share experiences in a confidential setting. This is where recovery is very likely to be initiated”.

The Hudson Centre offers a unique and pioneering One Week Intensive Programme that is a highly effective and targeted therapy workshop. The 7 day outpatient programme focuses on sexual addiction, sexual compulsivity and Internet-related sexual problems and delivers one week of intensive therapy that is equivalent to 45 hours of therapy. You can see our upcoming Programme’s here.

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